Lately in my practice I’ve been noticing a theme of over-focus on accomplishment. I see this a lot, particularly because my clients tend to be go-getters in their careers, and a lot of self-employed artists, freelancers, & healers. Which is great! And to be celebrated…you all do amazing things in the world. Yet at times, do you become a little bit myopic in that direction?
What if, if you are one of these career-driven types, you could relax the pressured feeling to achieve something amazing in your work, and in doing so actually invite more of what you want in life?
For the career-focused (that’s a nice word for obssessed) among us, what are the parts of life that you’re missing out on when you’re busy chasing all those dreams? Are you experiencing romance, relaxation, celebration, great sex, fun? Often what I notice is that when we forget how we want to feel at the end of the day, after all the effort is over, we are left with kind of an empty feeling. We are looking around, and perhaps we’ve had the victorious feeling of ace-ing a presentation, getting a new client, selling an art piece, etc, yet who is there to share it with? Do we even have any energy left to share ourselves meaningfully? Do we even know how to really relax, let go, and take in the breeze? So many of us have a thought pattern like “I’ll relax when I finally get there.” But where? In the afterlife? My point being, there is always a new ‘there,’ a new goal, and therefore we have to learn to relax mid-journey.
I was on a call recently with my business mastermind group, and one of our members started to share about how stressed out she was about having to polish her new curriculum for an event she had just designed and booked, and how it was difficult to relax, and she couldn’t figure out what exactly she should teach, etc….and then our facilitator was like “hey! WAIT A MINUTE! Did you just say you organized, advertised, and successfully have sign ups for a bigger event than you’ve ever done before? Let’s slow down and actually celebrate that!” …It was a good moment for all of us to take a breath and go, “shoot, I do that too!”
I think those of you who run your own businesses, or do your own thing work-wise, really know this feeling. When you’re in the entrepreneurial world, there is always that new edge you’re walking, the new thing your trying. You can forget to notice and feel jazzed about the hurdle just behind you, because you’re so aware and focused on the next hurdle in front of you.
If you turn around and look back at what you have just overcome, where you were 6 months ago, or a year ago…are you able to see and really take in the changes you’ve made, the hurdles you’ve leapt? I invite you to do this now. What do you notice in your system as you actually allow yourself to receive back all that you have achieved? What I notice in my own self is that I can be so busy with the next thing, that I sometimes forget what the good things were! That’s when I try to think back to the feedback I’ve received from clients, those gem moments when it all came together, and the inner obstacles I’ve overcome.
For you…what are three amazing things you’ve accomplished so far this year? Can you bring each to mind and really take some time to feel what it meant for you? What about on an inner level, what have you moved through emotionally/spiritually that you perhaps never thought was possible for you?
What I find so interesting is how hard it is for us to really recognize our own already-there-and-fully-operating strengths. How often do we stop and think to ourselves, “damn, I’m rocking it.” “I have shifted SO much this year.” Or “wow, I really do hold a tremendous amount of beauty/creativity/strength.”
I’m lucky to have front-row seats to all of you in your transformation. Yet I know it is harder to see it in ourselves. We mostly want to buckle down, muster our strength, and power through the next block. Then the next one. Then the next one.
We live in a mad society with a ridiculous pace of life, that gives us so many messages that our accomplishments in material-value terms are the most important measure of our worth. And while I do want material success for myself, I want it for my loved ones, and I want it for you, I would argue that the way to that outer manifestation–if it’s to be at all sustainable–is first an inner manifestation. It is an inner structure of self-appreciation, recognition of our inherent worth outside of all of society’s confining ideas about it, and the capacity to celebrate, be with, and appreciate who we are RIGHT NOW.
When that inner structure is there, we start to be able to relax and enjoy our life right now, in its imperfect, varying degrees of disarray.
There are times in our career and inner life when we must push to get through something: a time of less income flow, for example, when we really need to crank in order to succeed, or a time of increased productivity because we’re learning a new skill and it isn’t second nature yet.
And yet even in those times, if you can reflect a little bit each day on what is working, what you have been able to accomplish, what you do appreciate about yourself and your life already, this will help you to stay aligned with your deeper, soul-level intention for the work you’re doing in the world. When you move too far into the hurried/pressured modes of manifestation, that “I need this to happen now and I’ll exhaust myself pushing for it,” it is far more likely that what you build outwardly will not ultimately be sustainable or deeply nourish you inwardly.
To learn more about how I help people manifest a life that aligns with their deepest values, contact me for a free clarity session.