Energetic sensitivity can be the source of great strength, great gifts, and a powerful ability to heal and make an impact on the planet…and it can also be a hindrance and a source of overwhelm just getting through daily life.
A pattern I work with regularly is when energetic sensitives like you and me get caught in blaming others for what we are feeling, or wishing they would change to make us feel more at home. If they would just clean up their act, we wouldn’t get so off-kilter around them, right? If that person could just hold less charge, could be less of a jerk, could be more aware of themselves, etc. What seems at first like legitimate issues or legitimate reading of the situation can devolve into a frequency that is actually a hidden demand that life & others change in order to make me more comfortable. And it’s a setup for discouragement, anxiety, disappointment, or becoming a jerk ourselves.
The problem with holding this tendency is that we can end up victimized by another’s patterns rather than feeling empowered, strong, and capable in our own skin, regardless of what the people around us are doing. If we get too stuck in this ‘I feel everyone’s stuff and it drives me crazy’ feeling, we can end up trying to control our outer circumstances to an extreme in order to avoid the unpleasantness of life. Or we get overwhelmed and eventually shut down.
There is another way! It involves an inner shift towards acknowledging that in reality, we are free. We are free to create our own reality, to live as we choose – and no one else can really throw us off unless we let them. Just recognizing this can be a very empowering and eye-opening first step. It opens us up to our choices in the moment – in any moment. Which is what the victim has forgotten – that there is always a choice.
Next time someone else’s loud-off behavior puts you in a tailspin…see if you can stop, breathe, and ask for the shift (inner or outer) that will help you stay centered and connected to yourself. It is a pretty simple thing to stop and ask, and all that you have to do is follow what you get.
What is needed to shift the energy could be any number of things. The key is to ask yourself and follow the guidance that comes. Some examples from my own experience include:
💫 Handling someone’s negativity by feeling compassion for my own dark/sad inner places.
💫 Handling someone’s high charge by feeling connected to something I am super excited about (positive high charge)!
💫 Handling someone’s sadness by resting and deep breathing for a few minutes after being around them.
💫 Handling someone’s inappropriate language or intentions by feeling totally free to leave or not respond if I want to.
You’ll notice that most of my examples here involve an inner shift. This is because I have found that the inner shift must come first, and then if there is an outer action that follows organically, that is great. Once your inner stance has changed out of the overwhelmed/frozen feeling, the actions/words that come next will be more effective and powerful.
You’ll also notice that each of my examples takes the focus off of the other person, and thus helps me to stay connected to myself and to feel free to have my own experience. To me, it feels like taking the reins, & once I am holding them, I can choose to move whichever way feels good to me next. I am in motion still – not paralyzed by the other’s energy.
Victimization is a bottomless hole. It is a hole I have been in and so I understand why some of us get stuck there. In my work, I like to help you get out of it – permanently! It takes time and lots of mistakes to get these skills, so go easy on yourself as you come out of patterns like codependency, people-pleasing, and – oops! – dropping the self.
This is not to say that you should always push yourself to stay in an uncomfortable situation – instead, it is meant to guide your consciousness to a new possibility, where you can get more out of situations that aren’t perfect, and you can start to stretch yourself to feel at ease more of the time. The most important thing to take away is to stay in contact with yourself no matter who is around or what energy they are throwing around.