When we think about creating good boundaries, most of us have an idea that “strong” boundaries are fixed boundaries – this idea is woven into the mainstream culture, a sense that who we are is mostly static and so things that we like stay that way, things that we don’t like stay that way. But this type of boundary can become stale and flat over time, a rote answer to life instead of a fluid, flexible, living relationship with who we are, what life means to us, where we fit in the world in a given moment.
Unmasked
Getting intimate with someone involves also getting intimate with their wounds, their fears, insecurities, and triggers. Learning day by day how a new love interest operates and handles life is a learning – and loving – curve. Can you handle what comes up for them gracefully? Do you become irritated or resentful when their issues arise? Can you stay warm towards them even when they aren’t at their best?
Intimacy and Arrogance Can’t Live Together
The repetitive cycle we attract in relationship shows an imbalance in us, a way that we value one aspect of life over others.
Taking A Stand For Yourself
Have you noticed that the farther you walk on the path, the more individuated your preferences, needs, and desires become? A beloved mentor of mine talks about this often, that the more you become who you are, the more unique your path looks…