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Nina Handwerk: Brennan Healing Science Practitioner

The Grace of Falling

Why Mistakes Mean Progress on the Spiritual Path

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When we have a sense of where we want to go in relationship, health, work, etc, these deep inner goals become the long view of our life. They are the important things that we are making steps towards. When we hold them in our hearts & minds, these things tend to manifest. Sometimes they come quickly, and other times slowly, but in the long run they do land, if we take responsibility for creating them, and hold them with the tenderness, conviction, and care that they deserve.

Manifesting from the long view works. It stabilizes our system into a feeling of purpose and relaxation because we start to put less emphasis on the imminent ups and downs, arguments, and moods, instead seeing them as blips on the screen while feeling the long-term evolution of life. When we come from this perspective, life makes more sense, things stay in the right categories, and we move more easily in a good direction. Less important things fall away. Our perspective, strength, and sense of humor grows.

And as we grow, we are able to handle the things that we want more fully, which allows them to come in.

Many people are tempted by the short-term feeling of “hitting the jackpot,” “the big break,” “love at first sight.” But if the foundation isn’t built first, we won’t be able fully integrate the thing that we want anyway, so getting it early won’t typically mean that we’re able to keep it. If the business, relationship, weight loss, etc, were to land in our laps in its full manifestation tomorrow, we would likely lose it! Through trial and error and life experience, we start to become vessels that can actually hold what we want. Until then, we would drop it like a hot potato.

I see this a lot in my practice. Someone lands a potentially great relationship, but the ways that they aren’t ready for it show right away, and they sabotage the new possibility with their fears and defenses.

The Meltdown Moments are Priceless

Even when this happens, though, I see it as a major stepping stone. They don’t tell you in that movie “The Secret” that one of the most important steps in the manifestation journey is the “OH MY GOD, I f***cked it all up” step. This is actually the breakthrough step, in some ways the most important step, and I’ve never seen anyone walking a real consciousness path not go through it.

These meltdown moments, if used well, can give a ton of insight about what is working and what isn’t in how you’re walking your talk. When we get close to manifesting what we truly want, but then are faced with all of the ways that we tend to sabotage it or lose it, this is priceless.

All of the gaps in our consciousness, the sieve-holes, are suddenly visible in a big way. In my first long-term relationship, all of my patterns showed in an at-times humiliating, poignant, sense-of-self shattering ways. I didn’t realize at the time what a gift it was. I was getting fast-tracked to clearing the way for a much better relationship.

I wish I’d known at the time that ultimately what was coming up for me then was in service to my long-term vision, and was surfacing because I needed to face those parts of myself in order to be ready for what I wanted.

Can you relate? I’ve seen this so play out in so many different ways in different clients, that now when I see it I go, “yay!” while the client looks at me like I’m insane.

The Freedom Of F-ing Up

Being in a moment when your patterns show, and your long-term dream feels momentarily exploded, means you’ve put enough of your energy on the line, anted in with all that you have, and now you are getting somewhere. It may not be your prettiest moment, but it is real and it can transform you if you let it.

If you’re in that part of the journey, and some aspect of your life is torn up…breathe…and then…if you can…celebrate!!

Why? Because you’re becoming ready to move out of “I got this, I’m in control…” into “wow, I can’t figure this out…I surrender.

Finally, Spirit/consciousness/truth will be able to enter your life and help you out. You’ll be able to see what is truly important to you. You will see where you need to shift. You will be essentialized by this transiting time. You’ll finally be able to move more completely into the longer perspective of who you are, because you’ll have faced the fears/patterns that keep you stuck in duality and partial manifesations.

You can now walk forward without the feeling of being haunted by your pain and your mistakes, cause you’ve faced that shit!

The keys to getting through the meltdown into the deeper manifestation on the other side:

  1. Take responsibility for your patterns. Work on them. Get curious about them. (Blaming others will only sink you in deeper and keep you from growing.)
  2. Let go of your dream. (Ie, let go of this particular manifestation of it.)
  3. Find a new dream that is more in wholeness and integrity.

Now you can start again with more parts of yourself woken up. More awareness, more insight, more transparency. Build your next vision in your heart, dropping the demand that it happen your way, instead letting spirit be in charge this time.

Knowing what we want and holding it in our hearts over time builds faith and embodied spiritual principles into the structure of the energy field.

Each time we make the next incremental step towards who we ultimately want to be & what we ultimately want for ourselves, we get a boost of faith. Faith is the “wow, I can do this!” feeling. As we go through the ups and downs of manifesting our dreams, we start to learn to emphasize and understand the wins, until they accumulate to the point that our sense of self is much stronger, and the little things don’t pull at us like they used to. That in itself is worth the wait.


If you’d like to learn more about how I help spiritually-minded people move through periods of upheaval and ultimately create lives of fulfillment and purpose, please apply for a free clarity session here or email me:

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Nina Handwerk: Brennan Healing Science Practitioner